I love the steady low hiss of a record playing
like a bicycle tire slowly going falt
or a faucet a few rooms away
It reminds me of my grandparents' house
and dancing the Polka.



[*edit* I'm really into this song right now..]

music: Neko Case - Star Witness

My birthday is today. I am twenty-one years old. I don't feel very special or particularly excited about it, though I am trying to get into character. Twenty-one! Wooo!!!

I'm home. Meaning, I'm back in New Jersey and no longer in Iceland. Isn't coming home from vacation supposed to make a person feel refreshed? I feel so miserable to be back here. Iceland was indescribably fantastic. Absolutely amazing! I will post pictures and write more about this later at some point. I have to shower now, and finish watching this documentary before work. UGH WORK.

I just got a check in the mail for $600 from the government! I was just shopping for adventure equipment and stressing, too. So it came right in time reduce some of the financial anxiety that comes with this trip to Iceland. (This time Tuesday I will be in the airport... weird.)

I have nothing meaningful to type in here as usual. I wrote a beautiful poem in my head when I was having a mental breakdown on Thursday but as soon as my emotions leveled out I forgot what it was. But at least I got to experience the upside of being down.

music: Phoenix - 1901

i'm typing like 3487234 words a minute because i drank all this coffee to stay up to study all night and i am SUPER worried that i'm going to crash the second i sit down to take my exams tomorrow. yikes.

mood: anxious
music: Ingrid Michaelson - Be Okay

I've stayed up past the breaking point. There is tire, tire, exhaustion, urge! Then - clarity, inspiration, stillness. The latter! Your beauty terrifies as every unknown haunts humanity. In this still nighttime I can feel my every movement displacing the surrounding elements. I am soluble. You are duplicitous in your hospitality.

The night is surely a woman. An exotic temptress. I can feel her fingers rolling into her palm and taking me, too, in their windpath. She is quiet and pensive and content. She is patient and comforting, yet daunting and intimidating. She is coy... And daytime, certainly a man. Always rushing his mistress. There is never enough time. Demanding and uncompromising. Swarming. Commanding of the spotlight. Well he can take it, we don't need the sun to grow.

[ "I shall be telling this with a sigh" : ]
I always choose the hard road.

music: the new Conor Oberst & the MVB album

All I need to do is just hang in here for eight more days and then I can start LIVING again! I miss LIFE! I've been consumed with school work for the past week and there is another week to go, but then, ICELAND! Hopefully the fucking Swine flu doesn't cancel any flights, pandemic level 5 as of yesterday :\

I want to start making a chapbook of sorts. I'm really in love with what this person does.

[this song]

mood: tired
music: Mike Snow - Animal (Treasure Fingers Remix)

1. rush to school to print term paper
2. hand it in
3. do a few-minute long presentation on it that's not prepared
4. go to next class
5. explain why that assignment isn't due to the professor i'm in love with
6. leave school, go to work
7. work work work
8. leave job #1, go to job #2
9. work
10. come home (eta 9:30)
11. eat while working on next project due tomorrow

all i need to figure out is between which of these things makes for the best time to smoke a bowl...

(edit: i decided on right now.)

music: The Raconteurs - Old Enough

right now I'm watching the history channel on my DVR.. the only thing on my DVR... and anyway the weather is nice. the sunlight is coming in so sweetly and this couch is so snuggly and Stanley is sprawled out her poor hot fur covered body on the floor. she's so cute. the breeze is absolutely perfectly mild.

anyway, hashima island is fucking cooooool.

music: the lovely town bustle going on in the street below the window*

I just found the most beautiful discovery is a single perfectly crisp and ripe and juicy red apple amid an otherwise empty and unappealing, disappointingly bare refrigerator. It was like a diamond in the goddamn rough I tell you it was actually omitting a glittering aura of golden sheen like it had been touched by the hand of Christ Himself... Oh God, what if I just ate the Garden of Eden apple? This would be a perfect example for Christians to teach their kids why not to do drugs... YOU WILL DOOM THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE FOR ALL ETERNITY BY BETRAYING THE LORD GOD'S ONLY REQUEST OF YOU! I should go into marketing I mean it.

mood: really into using adjectives
music: Andrew Bird

i'm going to iceland in 27 days... booked as of yesterday!

mood: excited